I haven't posted in a while, but that hasn't stopped progress.  I want to write something that I have wanted to write for a while.  And while no one will see it, I need to write it, even to get it off my chest.  The dumbest question to ever ask someone is "where were you on September 11th"?  I know where I was and I would happily telly you, because it is probably one of the funniest stories of my high school career.  That day was scary, but it was almost scarier because I knew were I was and what I was doing, but it was like watching a train wreck or the coverage of the DC Snipers, or the tragedy at Virginia Tech, or Columbine, or the Oklahoma City bombing.  I sat transfixed because I couldn't do anything, I wanted to and I know that I could, but what exactly could a fifteen year old girl do that would be productive and helpful.

I went home that night and chatted with my friends from California and Texas who were upset and mad, however the effect of living in the center of the triangle made me feel very vulnerable.  That date defined me in many ways and has shaped who I am, each and every major event has.  I have had alot of friends who joined up because of it, whether really or because it would help pay for college, and I support them because they are making such a big sacrifice for us.

At the end of the day though it hasn't worked out the way that we thought it would.  Not at all.  And unfortunately as a country we need to get over it.  We need to make the decision for now and our future.  Each challenge we need to face.  At the time we thought the time was ripe for action, something many presidents, congresses. and elected officials decided was not the best move.  Now we have we have to decide what is the best decision for us.

I don't want to trivialize the day, the day that changed the mindset of a nation, but seriously it has been ten years.  Time for "change" and "hope" and pulling our troops out of the Middle East.  Yet we are adrift and we need to change the attitude to truly hope these people haven't died for a changeless society.  And I don't mean one the has an I-Phone and is connected on Facebook.  Lets find the way to address the problems in a way that brings about a better mindset.

Above all lets embrace what September 11th means and move on.

This Weekend

One of the things I have learned this weekend about myself, is how much of a trouble maker I am.  I really need to stop doing things that piss people off and make it hard for them to like me.  When I really stop to think about things, I believe that I am 

Today

So, I haven't written in a while, which is one reason I was fearful for starting a blog.  Though this weekend is a good time to start crossing projects off my list.  One of the benefits is that I can at leas make progress and write my list for next week.  One project I would like to accomplish is updating this blog and adding some creativity to it.  


In terms of my eating habits, well that has not been accomplished and I truly did not expect it to.  I started off strong both last week and this week and clearly fell off the wagon.  I hope by having a weekend to accomplish things that I am able to really work on it to bring about a new perspective.  


One thing I have been thinking about is taking two classes with the local community college this next "term".  The benefit of these classes is that they are online and they can be done at ones own pace.  The one class is a teaching class, which can be fun and enlightening.  The other would be for my personal pleasure it is a creative writing course, which sounds like so much fun because I would love to spend my days writing and bloggings, or at least my off times.  


One of my other projects this weekend is to get organized for the fall.  One thing that "falls" during the fall is Christmas, so why not spend the weekend getting organized for Christmas.  


The one thing I do want to do this weekend if the world works out the way I would like is to go to the beach.  Dan and I have gone to Annapolis for the beach before and while it was not ideal I think it might be fun to try again before the summer ends.  Knee deep in the water somewhere..... :)

Music

Today music has "inspired" me.  Not sure how much however I want to list some of my songs of the day:


Gunpowder and Lead - Miranda Lambert
Who are you when I'm Not Looking - Blake Shelton
Knee Deep - The Zac Brown Band


The funny part of this is I would never say that I like any of these singers/bands.  But some times you find the best songs when your not looking.

Today

Today isn't what I thought it would be, just a bad day all around.  It's days like this that I over indulge and just don't get things right.  I finally broke down, cleaned my desk, bought Starbucks, and put on Pandora.  Sadly that is what happens when I feel down.  Even Eeyore who sits on my desk isn't cheering me up like normal.  Oh well,  the sun is shining so I shouldn't complain.

More later, hopefully :)

Figuring it out

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.- Mark Twain


Trying can be really tiring.  I mean I know what I have to do and in some ways how to get there.  But actually sitting down and doing it can be really really tough.  And tiring.  I accomplished some things since the last post.  Mainly keeping up with writing in my food journal, which is really hard.  I do give myself props because i am really noting everything, but what I am seeing isn't as bad as it could be.  Maybe because I am used to it or maybe because I really am a more honest eater?  I don't know.

I did start something else last night which I truly believe is where it is going to make a difference.  I did an exercise video.  Ok, it wasn't all that exciting but for five minutes I did the whole video.  So the challenge will be to continue that for the next thirty days and then up the videos.  Exercise has been my weak area of all of this loosing weight thing so I am sure with increasing my exercise that I should see some results.

This morning I got up and did something else I am proud of; having breakfast at home and making myself lunch.  Sadly thing should not make me excited but it did.  Knowing that what I packed for lunch is what I am going to be eating does take some of the fun out of eating, however it make me happy to know its good for me and I don't have to go far for it.

So eating healthy and working out are two big goals for right now and I know that; but I am also trying to get my apartment in a livable condition.  Not that it wasn't before, however my roommate and I have been living in our apartment for over two weeks and there are still boxes everywhere.  The challenge (at least for this week) is to get it put together and everything put away.  While doing that of course we need to figure out what needs to go, which is a challenge in and of itself.  So tonight I want to have everything put away and a list made of what else needs to be done to make it livable.

One doable goal at a time.

Growing Up

Growing up is hard.  Anyone who says it is easy is lying.  I mean really with hover parents and hover grandparents and uncles who tell you how to grow up, it just gets harder.  I would say that I am "grown up" however I am still growing.
The title of this blog is Trying and I think that is the most important thing that someone can learn.  I am not the smartest person and while there are alot of things I would like to finish, that I haven't but I want to.  I want to complete projects and areas of my life that need to be finished.
My first project is getting healthier and loosing weight.  That is a tough one for me and I ask your support.  I don't know who thinks this one would be easy but my choice is to do it or don't so I'm going to do it.  My goal would be in a year to loose 45 lbs.  Which is a huge goal but a small term goal would be half of that by Christmas.  One step at a time.